I am not sure if I have been deluding myself?

I waited until i was rather old to become ually active. I met a nice man we were platonic for monthes, but eventually it became ually intimate. We were casual meaning he saw others. I know that you are thinking IDIOT, but for some reason I needed it to be kept on that level. Nice man, caring loving and very sensitive to the needs of others. Whether it be me or any of the other ladies he saw. Now here is where the problem arises. I would think of this man and I would excuse the wording get moist, I would see the man and I would get , he would kiss me, hold me touch me and he would arouse me BUT try as he might orally or otherwise he never could get me to have an orgasism. He was very patient and gentle with me orally he tried for a good hour or so but nothing meaning honestly it didnt excite me. I just didnt know how to tell him. Kissing him was amazing, but the actual well honestly after the first time when he took my virginity I didnt feel a thing.